My First feeling of Love

Hey everyone! Thanks for coming back or thanks for your first look!

Last week we left off at where I was taken from my parents house at the age of 5. Basically while I was napping and half asleep so it sort of felt like a dream. Which may be why I can’t quite decipher the dream from reality on this memory.

In my blog I will be discussing memories that have happened in my life that have left an impact for me to remember. I will be using my own life events and will not be using real names. In no way, shape or form is this to humiliate anyone in my life that has been a part of such impacting memories to me. If you take offense to anything I write, then that is your perspective, as this is mine. I will write about the good, the bad and the ugly. I will dedicate to posting weekly on a Sunday evening and update as I go along if I need to write more.

Thanks for reading and don’t forget to follow my page to keep up! I’ve removed Facebook for now and other social media apps from my life. They can get too consuming and I need to focus on more important things. I’ll pop in from time to time randomly. But if you need me, call me or text me or…. catch me on here! Feel free to ask questions, email me, give me constructive criticism, feedback and more!

Here’s a continuation from week one (if you didn’t read that blog… go read it now “The Impact of a Memory” … hurry up or you won’t be up to speed on this!).

…. I cried and screamed as I was rushed into a car with my brother Jake and sister Jill. We were placed in a back seat and I curled up to my brother and sister and we were all crying. It seemed like the longest ride of my life. No words were spoken, no questions and no answers…just the sound of the three of us crying and holding each other tight was what I can recall. When we pulled up to a house and the car came to a stop I was scared. I had no idea what was about to happen next or what we were doing at this strange place. We were let out of the car and brought up to the door of this home. Holding my brother and my sisters hand, I don’t remember walking in because it’s all such a fogged memory, but I remember standing there in this home in the doorway. I was so scared at first, but then, I saw all these kids running around and playing and having what seemed to be a good time. I was told to go play, while the adults talked so I obeyed and did just that. The adults finished talking and the woman who picked us up at my parents house just left… and I didn’t go with her. I stayed at the house with all of these kids and my brother and sister and other people and it seemed fun. The big tall man with an afro hair style and the little pregnant lady made us some food, then we were bathed. I was scared because it wasn’t my home. I wanted my mom and my brother and sister.

This next part about my hair was told to me years later by my foster mom Margaret, but I also slightly remembered it and wasn’t sure if it was a dream. When I was out of the bath, the woman had cut my hair. It was really long and curly or snarly as she put it like a “rats nest”. After the bath time, I went and played with the rest of the kids.I didn’t know it at the time, but this was going to be the best day of my life. This would be my forever family… or so I thought.

Some time before we were adopted, I remember following my brother Jake. He walked into the kitchen where our foster mom Margaret was and said ” I love you, Mom” and walked away. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to start calling our foster parents “mom and dad” since we were getting adopted. So, curious me, I followed him more. He went running out the back door of the house and down the small hill towards the garage where Joe was working on some things. Joe asked what we were up to and Jake said “Nothing, Love you, Dad”, Joe grinned and chuckled a little and said “I love you too, bud”. Jake ran out of the garage and I stayed for a minute. I then looked at Joe and said it to him too “I love you, Dad”, and I ran out, I bolted! My heart was beating so fast that I could hardly breathe! I was so excited as I ran up the hill to the back of the house! I was purely happy in that moment that made me feel something like an explosion in my heart. My cheeks hurt from grinning so hard! I didn’t feel abandoned, neglected or disowned in that moment. I felt Love…from my new Dad and It felt so good to feel that and I wanted more.

I am not sure of the date or day as usual, but I do remember the day we got adopted. I was 7 years old. It was a lot like that feeling of Christmas. The outfits were cute, our hair was done nice, and we were all happy. I remember I had a birthday party for my friend Anna that I was to attend around that time too. I also was grounded for forging my parents name on a paper for school, but they allowed me to attend this party for some reason. It was a sleepover too! We got our hair done, make up done, stayed up late, played games stuffed our faces with so much food and candy!! It was the best celebration for my great day! I had a blast! And I had a new name! A new me was created! I went from being a Randy to becoming a Frankie. I felt so much Love.

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